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Showing posts from January, 2018

FULANI HERDSMEN: NIGERIA'S UNIFYING FACTOR

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I am not so much a fan of movies especially when the story line is predictable. My friend and I were bored one day at home and I had resolved to quit alcohol so the idea of a bar was ruled out. I do not trust myself as I could easily fall prey to the temptations of the bottle. When we got to the cinema, we settled for a movie I cannot recall. Next thing was I heard people laughing so hard and the noise was so deafening yet I could not catch the joke. That was the moment I realised that I had been sleeping comfortably and the movie was seeing me instead of the other way round. However, there are some movies that I can never be caught sleeping while they are playing out and yes they are Nigerian movies. With lots of storylines that are rarely predictable and unbelievable, one cannot help but be edgy. Recent events in Nigeria are some of my best movies not because they excite me but because they astound me. There are only few phenomena that unite Nigerians irrespective of their tribe

The Prophecy On P-Square Quagmire

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A certain prophet in Zimbabwe prophesied that the long-time old (and now former) ruler would die and as soon as his prophecy hit the public domain, he was immediately arrested and arraigned. Recent events in Zimbabwe did not exactly do justice to the prophecy but what is a Mugabe without power? Prophecies may not play out exactly the same way they are told but it’s a warning to avert certain calamities or prepare the mind for opportunities to come. An old popular joke comes to mind about a prophecy where a young man is told by a prophet that he was seen in a vision where he was driving a big car with lots of girls around him. The excited man ended up becoming a bus driver in a girl’s secondary school. I guess he did not work hard towards becoming a successful dude or his village people immediately went to work on his destiny but I will place my money on the former. I recently had a revelation while minding my business. Apart from the fact that I am one of the earliest fans of th

The Bedbug, The Driver and The Nigerian Story

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A while ago I boarded a commercial bus to the garden city of Port Harcourt. The trip was an urgent one and so I had to leave same night I got the information. After purchasing the ticket and all other formalities, we boarded. Few minutes into the journey some passengers started grumbling. From grumbling it turned into a mini protest. They complained that insects were making a meal of them. Some thought it was just mosquitoes while others blamed sand flies until someone screamed “bedbugs.” A woman had actually caught one of the culprits and it turned out to be the dreaded vampire bedbug. Every passenger became agitated knowing the bug for what it is, you will never wish to come in contact with the vampire as it is near impossible to kick them off your environment once they become a part of it. We had barely reached Ijebu-Ode when the bus broke down. All passengers could not bear the torment from the bugs and rushed down for a supposedly brief reprieve. We all thought it was a mino

New Year Resolutions

At the beginning of every year, people all over the world make resolutions. Resolutions come in many forms; some promising to drop an old habit while some promising to accomplish certain feats. Whatever the resolutions are, you can be sure it is something that has really bothered the individual. I wonder if we do really need a resolution at the beginning of the year to get things right. Setting goals does not really need a particular time to start. A Nigerian pidgin proverb goes thus: “any time your eye open na that time your morning start.” I hope you do not expect me to translate that into English. Well, I guess I just have to do that. It means “whenever you come to terms with reality that is the right time you need to get to work.” We experienced so much in the past year which we pray not to repeat again. While listening to the New Year presidential speech from the Commander in Chief of the armed forces and the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, President Muhamma

New Year Felicitations From Chuxzville

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It is a new year, new month, new week and a new day; please remember there is never a better time than now to start getting it right. Failure is a sign of progress and life. While we have not been active in the last few weeks, we wish to announce to you that we are back and better and we will be regular and promise to improve on our contents. We recently made wide consultations and came up with some prophecies which will be coming your way soon. Just promise me you will not call me a fake prophet and you will be getting the first set by tomorrow. Political pundits please stay glued to this space so you know where to put your money. We wish to use this medium to express our gratitude to those who were part of us in 2017 and all those who fired us to excellence. I will mention names but the list is not exhaustive; Judy Onyema, Samuel Troy, Chinedu Uchu, Gift Collins, Okechukwu Uchu, Kelvin Ogine, @allurebyjudi , www.nextnaijaentrepreneur.com , www.giftcollins.com , DesiredIm